


Blood Oath

by Quayjahn



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-12 19:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1196847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quayjahn/pseuds/Quayjahn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are not enough Vex stories, so here we have one, following his thoughts and his mission, good or bad, coward or hero, selfish or selfless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: It’s been a while, since I wrote a fan fiction, but this series simply inspires me and especially Vex. Not enough stories with him yet, so I try to help a bit with that. Please be merciful with me, English is not my mother tongue, but I try my best. Not betaed, if anyone is interested in the job, please PM me!  
> AN2: WARNING: Spoilers to all aired episodes (atm that would be till episode S04E12).  
> Disclaimer: All rights to Showcase, except the idea of the story.  
> Comments are LOVE!

_"Do you know the feeling of being helpless?_  
 _Do you know, how it is, to feel frozen, not be able to move one limb?_  
 _Do you know the feeling of having no real clue how to survive?_  
 _Do you know, do you know, do you know?”_  
  
  
Being helpless was not something he was still used to, but damn, he knew the feeling too bloody well. Sure, it was a long time ago, centuries, but this feeling; it was burned into his inner core, melted with his pure being. Something that he would never ever get rid of. So he learned to protect himself. Protect his life. He was a survivor and would do, what was necessary.   
  
He would not end like his family, like his father, who he had thought to be useless, before he was proved wrong by the Blood King. His brother, the stern one, but always smiling, even when they were hunted. Or his mother, his sweet mother, strict, very strict, but caring. He still remembered the moment; the light truly left her eyes.   
  
He was at her side, caressing her cheek, missing the hands that had hold him, when he was even younger, that had punished him, when he was naughty, but caressed him later, when his fathers vented his wrath on him. She always had whispered, how he reminded her of her own father, his grandfather.   
  
Someone he never met killed before he was even born, a Trickster, being full of mischief. Those stories had left him longing; this longing to meet someone, who would get him, who would laugh at his jokes or even better, was challenging him. But the longing died with the light in his mother’s eyes, when she faded away into nothingness. It was the day he became hard, the day that marked the end of his youth, the day he closed his heart.  
  
Therefore he became a servant of The Dark doing everyone and everything they demanded, everything they wished him to do. Never high on morals, the last bit drained away with those first kills. A mere fledgling, nothing else he was back in those days. The youngest child, his powers had just manifested the summer before. But he was a natural and he learned fast, practised his abilities till no one could resist him. The Elders began to appreciate his talents, appreciating him.   
  
The last of the Mesmer.  
  
He was lucky, that they never started a breeding program, when they realised, how good he was. It was much easier to keep him alive. Alive and alone, no one to have confidence in, no one to trust, no one to rely on. A bit like “Lonesome George”, kept and nourished, provided with playthings, everything except true freedom. But he was alive, not like his family, not like any other Mesmer. So he was arranging himself with the situation.   
  
There had always been a slightly sadistic streak in him and oh, an eccentric one as well. If he couldn’t feel, he would express himself otherwise. The night terrors had stopped over the years and the screams of his victims where music, the music he truly enjoyed. Their fear, their pain, it was his elixir, it kept him going, it showed him, what he would never ever become.  
  
Over the centuries he learned, that it wasn’t enough. Too much pressure, too many things he suppressed. Slowly it sneaked up to him, insanity. Something everyone, who had no real expiring date, feared. His grandmother had gone mad; he remembered her mumblings and her screams.   
  
Mad, bad, dangerous to know, a line he believed to be true about him. But never would he turn into a slobbering, mumbling shell; he fought, he survived, that was his way of life! So he tried to find an outlet, tried to control his mood swings, at least to some degree, a degree that still gave him control.  
  
An encounter with a wicked witch helped him with discovering his outlet. As assassin of the Dark Fae Elders, they had ordered him to execute her for interfering too much in their own businesses. What he hadn’t expected was the trap she had set up for him. One moment he was marching into her hut, the next he was hanging upside down; first only his feet bind, just to find his arms secured seconds later. There was this feeling of helplessness that he bloody despised, but when the ropes cut into his flesh and her dagger scratched the skin on his neck, blimey, there was a rush like nothing else before. Of course, he had killed her in the end; she was just a weak human after all.  
  
But the rush had given him an idea and he began to pay women to fulfil his desires and slowly he gained control with giving it up for a short span of time. Not that he stopped having fits of anger or mood swings, but they were controllable, which secured his standing with the Elders. Controlled helplessness, the key to his success.  
  
Today’s culture gave him so many outlets; it had overwhelmed him in the beginning. In the 18th century the establishments tending to his needs were hidden, exclusive clubs of the rich and eccentric.  Well, there were still some of those around, but overall, it was more established and Goth culture, he had found his perfect haven!   
  
His clubs, they gave him a home, attention besides being feared. Never would he breathe a word about it, but he cherished the position as famous club owner. It amused him to no end, when a young pretty thing tried her or his best to charm him to get into the VIP restricted area.   
  
The Elders valued him even more, too. He had created a perfect cover, a feeding ground and amusement, all in one. There were the various hit jobs for The Morrigan; they made sure, no one forgot that he wasn’t just a mad man, but a trained and lethal assassin. As long as they feared him, he was safe.  
  
And than there was his ward, the boy he never wanted, but who had grown onto him. A human, an orphan like himself, well almost an orphan, but with a mother like his, she hardly counted. A father, never the role he had pictured himself in. A killer, an interrogator, a torturer, yes; but a father? Not really his pair of shoes.  
  
Everything, that had happened, proving that he had done a lousy job with it. He wasn’t sure, if it was his fault, that the boy was insane or if it was the cursed blood of his mother. Cursed blood, cursed blood oath. Everything came down to blood, even their laws, Blood Laws, thanks to the Blood King, a Blood Sage. Blood being spilled from his mother’s mouth.  
  
Today his blood would be spilled. But for a good cause. Not for greed, not for selfish reasons. OK, maybe a bit selfish, but not much. It was for the one who had understood him, the one who was there, the one who saw the little boy, screaming in his loneliness. The one who had melted the ice, for centuries protecting his heart since the day he became the only Mesmer in existence. The one, that revoke the longing again, the one he had betrayed, which caused him more pain, than the torture of the Una Mens.  
  
A bloody human, stronger than most Faes combined, who had a big heart, while being sarcastic and cheeky. Others were allies to the bloody succubus, his alliances lay elsewhere. Oh, not with the Elders and never with The Morrigan, she was just a tolerated, necessary evil. No, if he had to choose, no former blood oath considered, there was only one, he would choose. Kenzi.  
  
And he would help her to become Fae, to take revenge. Blood oaths be damned!  
  



	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Writing part 2 was a bit put on hold, till I could decide for myself, if I’ll include the season 4 finale or not. Both would have worked with the beginning of the story. It was a rather difficult decision for me and well, it took me more that a week. I decided, I will include everything but Massimo’s end.  
> AN2: I need music to write, beside the written word; music is my life, I can’t live without it. So my playlist for this part: Blue Gillespie – Synesthesia, My Chemical Romance – The Black Parade, HIM – Screamworks Love in Theory and Practice, The Rasmus – Dead letters, Jingaku Radio – Bandgirl, Lost Area – From the Ashes
> 
> Disclaimer: All rights to Showcase, except the idea of the story.
> 
> Comments are LOVE!

Blood Oath Part II

“What would you do to survive?  
What are you willing to give up?  
Would you betray? Would you lie?  
Would you hurt others?  
Would you give yourself up?  
Would you, would you, would you?”

He was standing on the top of the cliff, watching the Pistyll Rhaeadr, watching the water rushing down the crag. Jumping, licking stones, crushing, pure power trapped in water. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the ancient song. The melody had changed over the centuries, but he could still make out the tune, the whispers of a lullaby like no other.

Maybe nowhere else he felt connected to his past like here. The past, when he was innocent, a past long gone. Today he was a different man, altered since the last time he was here, a different man than just a few months ago. Loosing his powers he had visited all the places he could think of. Travelling the world, making bargains, threatening people, searching for answers.

In the end, he had come back to Wales, Cymru, land of his ancestors. Centuries had passed, since he last touched the ground. But the air was still the same, the number of humans might have grown, there were changes, like everywhere, but the country was still the same. The humans visiting this sacred place always talked about the peace they felt here, the calmness settling over them.

Of course he knew the true reason, the people claiming it was an enchanted place, protected by Faeries, were not wrong. Not totally off at least. A special breed of Fae lived here, feeding on stress, leaving their “victims” calm like after a good round of yoga and he had to admit, he knew from his experiences in India, even when no could imagine him sitting still, meditating, concentrating on finding balance and his inner peace. Those Faeries, they would be a hit in the big cities; all those New Age Junkies would throw their money at them. But no, they were bound to the ground, staying with the soil of their ancestors.

He remembered well, the last time, he had been standing here, the exact same spot, doubting his existence. A tourist had been disturbing his thoughts, coming too close to his site. He had just wanted him gone, spreading his fingers without thinking, wishing him to leave and the man had stopped, turned trotting away. His powers, back after all the time feeling like a cripple. His first feed, ambrosia! Whole again, himself again or so he believed.

Now he was back, trying to find the peace he so desperately needed, but knew wouldn’t come to him until he fulfilled his self-imposed mission. All powerful again, he had ate his fill, every cell was bursting. Just his mind was screaming, screaming for the missing piece.

He knew when she had left this world, when the spell casted on her died. The last chips of ice were rushing down the waterfall, leaving him bleeding, lost.

When he tried to regain his powers again, he had contacted so many people. The Norn, well she never liked his guts, his humour as well, they were too much alike and clashing bloody badly. There was nothing he could have offered her that was worth something, at least for her. The tiny, delicate plant; it was not strong enough to be a payment yet. Nothing like the wolf’s back than. What would she say today? He was not sure, but he knew, his request today would be denied for completely different reasons. The one with no respect? The one that broke the laws and went against The Norn? Bloody unlikely!

There were others, just who would grant him his wish? Feared, yes, admired, sure; he heard, there was even a fan club to his name. As long as he was useful people did as he requested, well mostly. The time, he was powerless, had been a wakeup call in more than one way. Would anyone do something for him? Selfless, without his services as payment?

Even with all his power, he was actually powerless when it came to the important things and he knew it. He knew it so bloody well. So he had started to dig deeper. Went into the darkest catacombs, ancient texts from the lost library of Alexandria, breaking into to secret vaults of more than one Fae Nation. Ancient Greek myths came close, but the Styx was not his river.

Everything was leading him back to the place soaked with his ancestor’s blood. A druid, of course, who else, was the first to give him hope. He had always been a protector of the druids; hence he had trained his ward to become one; a bitter taste on his tongue.

The druid told him about an ancient ritual. Never written down, only an oral tradition. Something nearly forgotten, something not done anymore, something he was mad enough to try. Last of his kind, there was a loophole. If it was true, he had his answer, why the Elders kept him around the way they did.

Last of their kind: willing to bond, willing to share, willing to give, willing to end.

If the other half was estimated worthy, both would live, sharing what they offered, no matter if one was alive or deceased, no matter if human or Fae. One chance, with only two outcomes, not grey area: both would live or both would die.

A deal, that sounded better to him, than The Norn’s, only here he was playing with his life. He was a coward; he knew that to be true. Whenever there was a possibility to run, he ran! Not the hero type, his survival was his number one priority. And why not? If he didn’t take care of himself, no one else would, would they? Too long that had been true.

Ice blue eyes, in them he had seen something; last received when he was a child.

Honest affection.

They had glimpsed what he kept bottled up removing shell upon shell. Save for the last time, the time he had to avert his gaze to escape the pain in those tear moistened orbs. Feeling his own pain betraying the one he swore to himself to protect.

If had known, that it would be the last time seeing her, would he have acted differently? Be for once the hero? Bollocks, he knew himself too well. She was the true hero, a heroine. Surviving in their world, more or less thrown to the wolves, even though wolves never had been her problem, taming even the wildest beasts. Himself being count in. She touched everyone coming in contact with her changing life itself. At least for him. Not a coward anymore, today he would hold his fort, being brave, being like Kenzi.

Her Katana was heavy in his hand, his palms slightly sweaty. After today Doctor Lewis would have a field day, if, if he could do it. But what was really stopping him? If he died, yes, his line would die out. There would be no Mesmers any more. The world would keep turning, it wasn’t revolving around him.

But what would they gain, if he succeeded? Bloody hell, those stuck up bitches wouldn’t know what hit them! Alone to see their faces, it would be worth it. That and so much more. Nothing too loose but himself. Not the worst deal.

Gripping the Katana tighter his lips whispered the ancient phrases themselves. Slowly he moved the blade without risking a glance, summoning the old gods, the powers to be, asking his ancestors for the true gift. The first drops of crimson mixed with the rushing waters, when he asked for his mate. His blood flowing freely, a runlet among the river glowing bright red. His true Blood Oath, his true vow.

Slowly drifting, nevertheless his senses sharper than ever, he could hear the song of the waterfall changing. The mumbling becoming clearer, mere whispers turning into voices, laugher ringing in his ears.

He was Vex, last of the Mesmer and today he was offering himself.

The colours hollow, the world fading, he could spot something in the spray. No someone was standing there and while he fell down the cliff, there was only one thought on his lips:

“Luv’.”

Kenzi.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Pistyll Rhaeadr waterfall is a beautiful one in Wales, on youtube you can find lovely clips of it


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I totally forgot to upload the updates here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay (>.

Blood Oath Part 3

_“If you were always alone, how can you face being with someone?_   
_If you could never trust anyone, how can you learn to be honest?_   
_If you never depended on another person, how can you share your load?_   
_If you, if you, if you…how can you?”_

 

Droplets of water on his face, his still wet face, was the first things he could take in, when the fog surrounding all his thoughts slowly dissolved. It was like having his head surrounded by cotton candy balls. Sweet smelling, but deafening. But there was something else, something besides the rushing of the water. A sound, fighting against this dominating noise, just faint, just a like a whisper and he tried his best to figure out, what it was saying. He took a breath, a deep breath swallowing the humid air, concentrating hard, before he could make out a voice he thought lost forever. Sweet, sweet melodious music…

“You stupid asshole! Wake up, wake up! Cliff jumping, back stabbing idiot! Wake up! Fuck you; you just want to get kissed! Wake up! You are no fucking princess! Even when I’m like the total bad ass, maiden saving hero! WAKE THE FUCK UP!”

…or not. A heavy blow on his chest let him cringe, finally opening his eyes to a sight, he hardly could believe seeing in front of him. There she was, his disheveled Goth princess. Her real hair, wet flowing around her face, her eyes bloodshot and full of, full of tears? No, that couldn't be right. Or were the droplets, no that simply couldn’t be, were it, were it really her tears? For him?

“Bloody hell, don’t scream so loud luv’, I think I just nearly died!”

Another punch, this time a lot stronger, but seriously, he didn’t mind it. Hell, she could whip him any day, but being here with him he would allow her everything she felt like doing. She was here!

“Well, I was dead! That,“ Punch, “is no fucking,” another punch, “excuse!”

He could only look at her, look at her and begin to smile, before he had to laugh, not his maniac laugh, but the one for her, the happy one, the fun having one only she heard, only she caused. His hand moved without him giving it any thought, reaching for her tear-stained cheek.

“Sorry luv’. I was always a coward, took to loose ya to, well… sorry…”

The hand fell down, his eyes closing again, not able to stand the look, that probably accused him of every single crime he ever committed or only his worst, not helping her but leaving her broken, betraying her trust.

“Sorry…”

A mere whisper, but his throat was closing, he was so bloody weak, a spineless bastard, only purpose to make others miserable. Miserable like himself. Surviving, the thing he was good at, no matter what.

“You, you brought me back, didn’t you? Didn’t you Vex, Vexter?”

Her voice was shivering, nearly as unsure as the day he had seen her the last time. Not believing again, that something he did, truly happened. Just this time it was good, this time he did the right thing, maybe for the first time in his life. No, he had done it before, for her, always for her. The Garuda, the piggies, the Morrigan.

“Had to try, heard the Robot hookers took over! Without you kicking their arses, well, they got cheeky! You know, the bad ass, maiden saving hero was missing.”

His grin was wide, the feeling so good, it was like being alive again even lying here, completely soaked in the dirt. This certain spark that had been absent, it was back. One girl, one mere human, but she glowed so bright in her dark beauty. One look at her and he knew, everything had been worth it, all the traveling, the grovelling, the begging. She was worth it, that and so much more!

And the genuine smile he got in return, bloody gorgeous! She was really here, with him! Take that succubus! He so ruled! Win for the Mesmer. It was hard to believe, but he did, what no other had done before. Getting his perfect girl back from the dead.

“Fuck, you are really lost without me, are you? Ah well, perfection is not replaceable! I'll take care of those scary bitches, when we are home!”

She was petting his head, while her gaze began to wander leaving his wet form looking around, taking in the area, the waterfall and the wild beauty of the countryside.

“Uhm, Vexter, I do have the feeling we are not in Kansas anymore...Where the hell are we?”

Sparkling ice blue eyes full of question, questions he could understand. She died in battle to wake up here; everyone would be full of questions.

“You are not dead, too? Don't tell me, not having me around let you kick the bucket? I know I'm awesome, but...” words dying on her lips, her face a mask of pain.

Vex pushed himself up, trying to stand, a story like that had to be told looking into each others eyes. He was swaying a bit; he gave so much up, he was so weak, but knowing that his plan had succeeded; weakness he could fight and overcome, but for now, it might be better to just sit. So he took Kenzi’s hand, pulling her down to him, sitting down.

“No, no luv'. I'm alive, good as new, OK; I've been better, but worse, too. I'll survive, I always do and from now on...I guess so will ya. You are back and this, well, welcome to the land of my ancestors, humble background, I know. But yeah...”

A hand ran through the unruly mass of black he called a hair cut. Everything was new, everything was weird. Being out of words was something he could rarely say about himself, today was indeed a day full of surprises.

“What do you mean? From now on so will I? Vex, what did you do? What type of wicked deal did you make?”

She knew the Fae world too well, nothing without a price, nothing for free and if something looked too good, there were probably a million buts in the footnotes.

“Am I a zombie? Oh please, not a zombie, they are decaying and I don't want to loose body parts and grey-green is so not my skin colour. So not cool! I want to be something awwwwsome!”

Her hands lay protecting over her breasts; the fear about loosing the girls was obvious far too prominent on her mind. Vex couldn't help but grin again. Oh, they would have so much fun!

“How does Mesmer sound to ya? Cool enough?”

Alone so to see Kenzi's jaw drop, it would have been so worth it! The gaping fish mouth a few seconds later was even better. A speechless Kenzi, oh he was so on a run today! He knew he shouldn't do it, but it was so bloody tempting, that he moved a bit closer to her, a finger closing her mouth slowly.

“You my dear were always born to mesmer, so from today on, with a bit practise, you will do exactly that. I bound you to me and the result is a living you and yeah, what should I say, welcome to the top shelves, you are Fae now.”

“Vex, I…be a gentleman!”

And just moments later he was thanking all ancestors again, that he was so close to Kenzi, barely catching her, before she collapsed, taking him again into the mud.

“Oh luv', I know, I'm enchanting, but ya don't need to pass out on me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music this time: Penicillin – Black Hole, HIM – Greatest Lovesongs 666, Kaya – Glitter, My Chemical Romance - Danger Days True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys, Eminem – The Eminem Show (Mix it Baby!)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and because I forgot to upload, part 4 as well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN (written April 28th): Today I'm sitting in the St. James Park, the Buckingham Palace behind me, this morning I was still in Bangor-on-Dee and yesterday, well, yesterday I met Paul Amos. I have to say, I was sad, that not more people came to see him, on the other hand, I felt lucky, 'cause he had more time for us. It was surreal and standing there with a Kenzi Cosplayer, whose photo was just tweeted by Ksenia Solo herself, well it was special. We had our own little Q&A. It was an interesting day. Before I went to Wales, I didn't know, if I could continue writing. With other people I couldn't do it. But I have to say, with him it was easy. I could get a glimpse of the man himself, not everything was good, but that is OK...  
> Anyway, I'll continue the story. Now knowing so much more.
> 
> Disclaimer: All rights to Showcase, except the idea of the story.  
> Comments are LOVE!  

_“If your dreams come true, what do you do, when nothing is like you expected it to be?_   
_If you wake up, what do you saw, when nothing is the same?_   
_If you fear nothing but weakness, what do you do, when nothing can help you feeling weak?_   
_If you, if you, if you, what do you do?”_

  
  
He was checking her out, yes, he knew that he was a creep, but who was there to judge him? Exactly, no one! But it was surreal, to know, that she was really here with him, in a tiny B &B in the middle of nowhere. Under their room was a pub, he didn't even had to try to listen to the voices of the local choir, nice voices, he had to admit. During his travelling days he was trying his best to stay low key, flying under the radar. This hotel, even when they welcomed the strange and unique, didn't request an ID or credit card for registration, just cash. Sure, he had dozens of aliases, but why should he make it easier for everyone? Not his style!

  
And the guys here, they were helpful! Really helpful. When he arrived in a Taxi with an unconscious Kenzi, one of the Barkeepers helped him to carry her upstairs. Normally he wouldn’t have a problem with doing that himself, she was light like a feather, but today, today he had to lend muscle power. The procedure had taken more out of him, than he had expected.

The owner wanted to call a doctor, but he could convince her, that it wouldn't be necessary, him having medical training himself. Some well placed phrases he had caught up from the brainy doctor and she had only nodded, leaving him and his somehow in the area being friend alone.  
  
So he watched her, checking her pulse now and than, not sure, if it wasn't only an excuse to touch her, to make sure, she was really with him and not just one of his mad hallucinations. But she was with him, was real, warm, living breathing. Her hair much more wavy, than he knew it, the shower from the waterfall had destroyed whatever styling she had before, if she had any, ‘cause do you get your hair styled in Valhalla? OK, it was Kenzi, Kenzi was always stylish, one of the things he loved, no, liked about her. Just the last time he had seen her, she was anything but stylish. She was only desperate and revengeful. And he had betrayed her.

How would she react? The guy, who had betrayed her trust in the worst possible way. OK, he had brought her back, but did that mean, everything was forgotten? Everything was forgiven?  
First thing she did was hitting him, not that he didn't earn it, but that was probably not enough to make her forgive him. Who would do a thing like that? Not him.  
  
Being so lost in his thoughts, he didn't really took notice of the movement in front of him, but a quiet whisper a moment later, brought him back.

  
“Vex? What the hell am I wearing?”

He shook his head several times before he had to smile a bit sheepishly at her.

“Well, your clothes were wet and I didn't really expected to need clothes for you. You can still catch a cold and that's not the best way to start your new life, sneezing and coughing.  So my clothes or no clothes...but if you are worried about your decency, it wasn't me, who undressed you, the owner of the inn here did that for you. Female, straight and in her fifties. I was taking a shower than and could not see a piece of naughty flesh.”

At least not for the redressing, when they were alone and she moved, not really his fault that the shirt slipped up a bit. He was only a man and Kenzi was a bloody gorgeous woman.

“OK...that..Okay...uhm, did I pass out on you? Gosh, I so passed out on you! And here I was calling you the damsel in distress! FAIL for Kenz! “

A smile was the only reaction she got out from him. He simply was too stunned. She had hardly changed. She was her old self.

“Vex, did you mean, what you said earlier? Before I so ladylike fainted? I'm a Mesmer?”

That did sober him up, it did look like she did realise, she wasn't her old human self any more. It was, what she had wanted, without paying money, on the other hand dying before was a huge prize to pay.

“Yeah, I am not the last of the Mesmer anymore. There are two of us now. But it could have been worse. I admit the sparkling was a nice effect, but hardly an asset worthy of you. I'll have to train you. Show you how to use your gifts, but you were always a quick learner, you will pick it up. And not to flatter myself, but I'm a bloody amazing teacher!”

“Humbleness was never yours, was it?”  
  
She was mocking him, but he didn't mind. She was here with him and she would be his pupil. Life couldn't be better!

“What is this thing you are talking of? Never heard of that!”  
  
Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN 2: Playlist: My mobile on shuffle...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: It took me a long time to start to write again. We had a sudden and tragic death in my family and somehow my mind wasn't in it. I'm better now, adopted a second cat, became an Aunt and well, try to bring something back on the paper.  
> AN2: No Beta, if someone is up for the job, please PM me!  
> My Background music: Playlist of music from Wales on YT. Various songs by Steve Young (UK)  
> Disclaimer: All rights to Showcase, except the idea of the story.  
> Comments are LOVE!

_“If thoughts are all you have, what do you do, when they are taken?_   
_If thoughts were, what was guiding you,what do you do when they sent you astray._   
_If thoughts are a part of you, no one knows, what do you do, when everything is laid open?_   
_If thoughts, if thoughts, if thoughts...what would you do?_

He didn't think this through, nope, not at all. He NEVER really thought things through. Sure, the basic outlines of his life and OK, when it came to his clubs. But even his hits as assassin for the Dark were rather spontaneous, where was the fun in having a strict plan, didn't fit his personality! Still his biggest unplanned chaos was his private life. And rescuing Kenzi, bringing her back from the dead, was somewhere on a top spots on his list of really ill-conceived things he did in his life. The only thought he had, when he researched, how she could come back at least half sane or at least no crazier than she had been in her glorious days with the love machine, was the actually getting her back part. The rest...not so much.  
  
The thought, that it actually could work, it had been only wishful thinking. How he hated to be disappointed and to imagine a life with Kenzi, probably at his side, not just random blinks, not just the evenings hanging out, playing video games, eating junk food, tequila and vodka till they passed out, maybe a sleepover now and than, but mundane everyday life, this concept was so foreign to him. On the other hand, life with Kenzi could never be mundane, it was Kenzi after all; this bubbly personality, shining brighter than stroboscope lightning.  
  
Suddenly it was so real, that he would need to face things, suddenly she was here. In a country an ocean away from her home. She was with him and he had to be her guide, her master, her friend. A scary thought, he did suck in all those categories. The easiest way out would be calling the succubus, her bitch and the fan club. Get out, running away and escaping the responsibility. But leaving a baby Fae alone, especially the only female one of their kind, no one to teach her, no one to tell her the important stuff. That was heartless and frowned upon even by the Dark Fae.  
  
Sure, the Blood King would take over, he had done it for the last stray, which turned out to be his very own granddaughter. Kenzi kind of belonged to that mismatched family, too, so she would be OK. And she probably missed those nutter. Why was everything so complicated? Why did he feel this poking, prickling something on his right face?  
“To see you as the brooding type instead of the moody one. Come on Vexter.”  
  
He looked down to see a dozen or so paper balls beside him and back to his new ward with about the same amount of paper balls and some newspaper with bits and pieces missing. She did had balls all right! And suddenly stuck her tongue out to him catching him totally unexpected. He had half forgotten, that she only had been in the bathroom for a long shower.  
  
“Uhm, yeah, you know, lots to think about, world to conquer and all that, you know how it is.”  
  
Kenzi was shaking her head as if she wasn't believing a word he said, OK, who would, he was a liar par excellence, but he had to admit, she was a worthy opponent. One day they had played this game “guess the lie”. It had been damn close for him.  
  
“Anyway, when you are done thinking, Momma needs FOOD and BOOZE! You said, we are over pub, so...um, can we go down?”  
She played a bit with the hem of his shirt, which hang loosely around her thin frame, they really needed to go shopping tomorrow. Loose outfits on her evoke bad memories for him. Just good memories from now on. Changing his life was the new plan looking at her, he knew that had to be the path for him. She needed him. Not a coward anymore, more like her.  
  
“Yeah, booze and food, sounds good, sounds like a plan and plans we need, don't we?” He jumped up and strode to the mirror to check his appearance, glimpsing part of Kenzi's face, too. His make up kit had been put to good use, she was looking herself again, just the smile was a bit dimmer than before, but that would change, he would make sure it would. Turning around he grinned at her, “OK luv' let's visit the tavern and bloody celebrate!”  
  
He opened the door for her, slightly bowing down with a twinkle in his eyes. She was back, he should not worry so much, he should live and just enjoy the moment. Booze and food and everything else he would figure out on the way. King of Improvising, together with the Queen of the same country, what could go wrong?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fantastic to see where all my readers are coming from, most are from the USA, than there is Canada, Germany, UK, Australia. But really interesting I find places like Saint Lucia, Serbia and Montenegro, China, Japan, El Salvador. Thank you so much! And feel free to write comments, they are my only payment.  
> ♥  
> My BGM this time: Dir en Grey – Arche, 2Chellos - In2ition ; Robert Downey Jr. - The Futurist, Harms & Kapelle - Meilenstein  
> Disclaimer: All rights to Showcase, except the idea of the story.  
> Comments are LOVE!

_If you had not other goal in life than survive, what do you do when that changed?_  
 _If you had one fact, that made you stand out removed, what will make you special now?_  
 _If you had your path found, what will you do when everything was turned upside down?_  
 _If you had, if you had, if you had...what will you do?_

She was maybe the single most perfect creation, he had ever met in his life. Before she had been awesome, this mix of brashness, sarcasm and very big heart had pulled him in without him realising it. When he thought back to the days, the days after the Garuda and all that followed, of him living in the shack they called home. Even when it was annoying and loud and he needed a ton of earplugs to keep the noises of the power tool a bit out of his head, but there had been Kenzi, those smiles and the banter and Make-up and video games and...just her. He had been happy, happier than he had been in a very long time. In the first years after Mo, those might have been good. Those eyes that had melted a tiny layer of his ice cold heart, when he had looked at him full of adoration, before he became aware of everything else around him. But she, she had shattered the armour all together. The beacon of hope in a bleak world full of despair and darkness. And now?  
  
Oh gosh, he had to bloody stop to think. He turned into the total Emo and that was not on his to do list.  
  
Everything was different now playing with the rim of his Tequila glass he knew that. But acting on it, was simply a new concept he had to wrap his mind around. Baby steps with the Baby Fae, that was his first rough sketch of plan at the moment.  
  
Knowing she was more the pizza/burger girl, he had ordered some steak burger for her with a pint of ale and mutton stew for himself. Old flavours, a breeze from the past, but being with her here surrounded by old voices, that was something completely new and unique.  
Big blue eyes were staring at him, hands full of the burger, she set down to take a big gulp of her Ale.  
  
“Dude, that's so weird to hear all those guys talk like you! What the hell, when I tried to pose as posh English to liberate some nice pieces, I was more like Hermine, not, well...You!”  
  
That was...Did she really? He couldn't help himself, but he had to glare at her.  
  
“Ya didn't really call me bloody English, did ya? Better don't say stuff like that out loud luv'! We are in Wales, big difference, older heritage all that yadda yadda. Sure, with “us” it's even more complicated, but ya know...bad blood and all that.”  
  
Kenzi just stared at him like he had grown a second head. Was it that far fetched, that something like that mattered to him? She never forgot about her Russian heritage as well, why should he? Given with him it was a bit longer ago, that he actually lived here. Environment may changed, but deep down, no one ever forgot where they came from, gutter or throne, our past was part of us.  
  
“Seriously? You give me THAT talk? History?”  
  
“What should I say, my young exterior does hide years of experience!”  
  
He winked at her and couldn't stop his lopsided smile to show. It wasn't really her fault, she was so clever, she just lacked a bit of education, but he could change that, could educate her. They had all their lives for that, they had time. They had time. What a surreal concept. Taking a deep breath he looked back at her, flawless for eternity. Wow!  
  
“I will show ya if you like luv, show ya the world a bit.”  
  
There was this weird flutter in his stomach, when he looked into her bright blue eyes, he was nervous, nervous she would say no, nervous she would want to go back to the gang straight away. Which meant sharing her again. But he wanted to be selfish, he was Dark, he didn't want the world to have her. All those important to her, they would still be there in ten, twenty, a hundred years, the beauty about being Fae. And the ones she called her friends, well, those were very likely to survive whatever was thrown their way. It was not really the best thought, but they were the team successful, lead by the succubus with her special mixed heritage. Kenzi had been part of them, the winning side, he had been so sure she was save with them. The reason why he had left her behind, he had thought, that they would protect her with everything they had. He had been wrong.  
  
She hadn't really said anything, just stuffing her face with the huge burger like she was starved, sure afterlife was probably pretty different than being back here.  
  
“Do ya, do ya feel different?”  
  
He nearly wanted to bit his lips asking that. How the bloody hell could he ask her that? That was wrong on so many levels, so wrong! With slightly trembling hand hoping she didn't took notice of, he took his shot glass and drank the Tequila before a big gulp of his Ale followed. Why oh why couldn't he think, before he opened his mouth?  
  
“It's weird, yes different. My body...it, it's lighter. Like a thousand bricks are a suddenly gone and I can breath for the first time real air. I don't know, like before there was this huge fucking web, veil around me and that's gone. And there is, I don't know, there is something new, I don't know what that is. Like, like there was this assembly instructions for Kenzi and they forgot some parts, but added new ones. Some screws left over, but with glue it still works...suck balls, I'm an IKEA shelf!”  
  
He just stared at her, she, oh that was just, he couldn't help himself bursting out laughing. The people around them turned around like he not just had some screws loose, but did lost them, like Kenzi just declared she had.  
  
“Ya're seriously brilliant!” snorting with laugher he was just so amused that stopping was the last thing on his mind. She was grinning, too. It didn't matter, if other thought he was a lunatic, most of his life people had thought that, but she didn't; they were both screw ups in their own way. And he was glad about that. Who needed this perfect succubus, she might be magic between the sheets, but someone that made him laugh, making him feel alive, that was a true asset.  
  
The stew was still warm, when he finally finished it, his eyes not really leaving this vision in front of him, still smiling slightly. A new Fae, who probably already had her power, just not being able to use it, channelling the abilities. Tomorrow he would try some stuff with her, after shopping or maybe while shopping? They probably needed a human for her to practise on, him being probably immune to her powers. On the other hand, that would mean, he would never ever be able to make her do anything any more. No more stabbing Teddy bears with pointy knives. Bollocks!  
  
“Ya're Fae now, they do added something to ya original recipe, well, I kind of did. With additional help from some fairies. Old druid recipe, all very secret and those shit. But yeah...If ya talk to Evony, the Mistress of the Park Avenue, she would tell ya about how being human is so different, itchy and that...at least that's what I heard.”  
  
His glass was hiding the wide grin, when he thought about the Morrigan's status as human compared to Kenzi's new one as full blooded Mesmer. Just to imagine the old hag's face when Kenzi showed of her new skills, while she had to try her hardest just to stay alive. The news of the Morrigan's transformation to human by the good doctor had been the single best news he had heard before he finally found the solution to bringing Kenzi back.  
  
“That's it? No wonder you are all so high and mighty, this buzz. Being “Sparky” didn't feel like that at all! Damn, I missed out before. Will it be better? I mean, it's all new and that.”  
  
“Ya didn't feed yet, that's when the REAL fun starts! I will show ya. Ya remember how I was, when I couldn't well...perform? It was not just, that I wanted the power back, I needed it. We bloody starve, not like...well humans without food, but we, we wither away. To live that long, it need to be fuelled in a way. The connection we build, there is this...energy. Ya will see.”  
  
Kenzi just stared at him like he was flashing in rainbow colours or told her she would get her unicorn for Christmas. Than he remembered what he just told her. Her being now Fae and even better, her being another Mesmer, it somehow eliminated all filters he had. Somehow it felt like he finally had a confidant, someone he could trust blindly. There always had been a connection between them, after he really got to know her, OK, who was he kidding, there had been something from day one. But bloody hell, now he really talked. Not just phrases, he was honest to her. What sense would it make to lie to her or hold something back? Kenzi was now a part of him, for better or for worse. She deserved to know everything and he couldn't help it, but the more he thought about it, the warmer grew this feeling inside of him.  
  
Not alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> AN3: The line: “Mad, bad, dangerous to know” was said by Caroline Lamb about Lord Byron


End file.
